remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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