i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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