it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
