I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
