If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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