I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
