So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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