i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
