I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
