Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Walk of Shame today included voting.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
