As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
