Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
