i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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