drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The beer is more important than you right now.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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