So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
