I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
