My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
