it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
