The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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