Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
