i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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