There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
