If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You're like the curious george of whores
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
