I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
