I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
this is an emotional support booty call
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
