You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
