If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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