you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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