Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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