hotel room ftw
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
