no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
