The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
