a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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