lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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