May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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