once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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