Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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