How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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