Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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