Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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