11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
We're facebook friends in real life
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
