I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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