my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
