His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
