So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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