i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
