I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
time to smoke my breakfast
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
