So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
