fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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