Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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