I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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