HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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